Instead of writing something productive, I decided to write this. Let's see if I have the followthrough to write another blog of some sort someday. Here's three things I learned this week, the second week in March.
Jerry Jones Can Swallow his Pride
After last season’s monstrosity, I tried to put pen to paper and figure out what the Cowboys needed to do in the offseason. The obvious answers were cut Terrell Owens and fire Wade Phillips, but I didn’t waste my time considering the possibility. With the new stadium opening up next season, I couldn’t picture marketing guru Jerry Jones reinventing his team with a new coach or taking a marquee name of the roster. He’s having enough trouble selling season tickets with T.O.’s face plastered on banners throughout the stadium. Who was he going to sell to the masses? DeMarcus Ware? Instead of scribbling down what I knew would not happen, I wrote some quick notes about our inside linebacker dilemma and getting a backup QB in the draft.
Then, a miracle.
Owens was cut. It saved the Cowboys nothing on the cap and only took talent off the field. Jerry cut T.O. for no other reason except his cancerous attitude. Now Romo, who has only been a starter for two full seasons, mind you, can focus on his game and not making his number one WR happy. Super Bowl bound? Let’s not get silly. But, the Cowboys had 31 reasons for failing last year. T.O.’s antics freezing his ass off in the land that God forgot widdles that list down to 30. Jones, notorious for sticking to his dumb decisions (Can anybody say Quincy?), accepted responsibility and did north Texas a huge favor.
Coffee Porter is Caffeinated
Makes sense, don’t it? Well, last week’s George had no idea. On Tuesday nights I host a pub quiz ate a bar in north San Antonio. It’s basically me on the microphone for a couple of hours while teams work together and answer said questions for prizes. It’s a fun thing to do plus, I get to drink for free. The Lion & Rose has a respectable beer selection. I try to mix it up, drink wise, but they changed their seasonal beer from Sam Adam’s Winter Ale, which is terrible, to Real Ale Coffee Porter, which is awesome. I drank four 16 oz. beers, ran a great show, and got home around 11:00. After a healthy two hour T.V. session I made an attempt to go to bed. By 2:30 in the morning, I was back downstairs. I refuse to try and force myself to sleep. I would rather watch more Simpson reruns than punch a pillow, and I figured I would just work on my GWD Blog until I got sleepy. Long story short, Simpson reruns turned into Sports Center, which turned into watching First Blood, which turned into me going to bed a little before six. Coffee Porter, like gay porn, is best taken in small doses.
McDonald’s is a horrible, horrible, place
How in the fuck does this restaurant prosper? For starters, the Filet-O-Fish sandwich is degusting. I think there is a magic fish that only McDonald’s knows about called the gluttony cod. The gluttony cod’s flesh has an unworldly ability to absorb ten pounds of grease per square inch. It’s ideal for oceans clean ups. Did your oil tanker crash, causing thousands of gallons of oil to be dumped into the ocean? Better call McDonald’s. They can help you start up a glutton cod farm. A few dozen of this fish will clean that mess up. Then McDonald’s will make a hefty profit forcing these finned demons down our throat….fried……with cheese.
One thing I did know...
The Netherlands would take care of Those Dominicans. An All-Star caliber batting order with mediocre pitching will always fall short. Any Rangers fan can tell you that.